fuck carnegie
a small sleep-deprived rant
(i originally wrote all this under a january 2023 calendar listing, & while i realized that was ABSURD / paused / moved here, i'm leaving it in that format bc i don't have the time, inclination, or insights to justify an Actual Essay lol, this is just a listing that got outta hand –– as many threaten to!!! :D)
• 9pm: THING AT CARNEGIE HALL @ zankel hall at carnegie hall, 57th st. & 7th ave, midtown mnhtn // ...but see the situation is, or started w/ the fact that, for a bit i had to use wayback machine for a link bc carnegie hall's entire website was down... on purpose?????? not "opening" til 11am bc of expected high ticket sales ??? (srsly who closes an entire website???? i'm obvs no ~tech wizard,~ but surely you could have waiting rooms for just ticketing & not... literally everything, including info on visiting or donating???)
i was gonna joke that u should plz reach out if u are with carnegie hall & would like to pay me for brilliant insights like Don't Close Website, but was thinking & hmm maybe the real problem is that they don't pay their PR ppl enough // also would snark about how i haven't read the gospel of wealth but feel that endowment could cover $50k minimum salaries, except i suppose good ol' andy was murderously opposed to fair wages, so maybe it's just the carnegie way! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ANYWAY at some point in this rant i realized that 1) it would be v rude to have a long spiel directly under an event ft. people i respect lol whoops, & also 2) while i am incredulous about the frozen "waiting room" landing page (...like truly?????), i think it's mostly that i fuckin hate andrew carnegie & his ~ilk~ & am annoyed w/ *myself* for occasionally listing the hall's finer attempts at justifying their villainous history // i mostly get a kick out of it for the ~irreverent juxtaposition~ or whatev, exactly the vibe so kindly & smartly (i was gonna say "pithily" but "pithy" never sounds good to me, event tho obvs it is???) noted by polly watson in art forum last month [december 2022, pdf here if paywall'd] –– talk about a bitchin shoutout f'real!!!:
"NYC NOISE (nyc-noise.com) An invaluable resource for those living in or visiting NYC who would like to hear the strange and wild sounds of the likes of Steve Reich, Kowloon Baby, or the New York Review of Cocksucking in places ranging from Carnegie Hall to a desolate stretch of Brooklyn train track."
see, that is why i've sometimes included C.H.'s Best Offerings, for the (maybe juvenile, but still i think real!) dissonance or discordance or ~whatevery~ friction of seeing the Hallowed Hall sandwiched between the new york review of cocksucking (duo of richard kamerman & michael foster, legit affff) & the purgatory rails (...my best-guess for which train-track-show polly meant, given timing, tho i didn't ask or even make that one myself (october was wild...))...
but by the time a diatribe's gotten this outta hand, clearly the solution is to NOT LIST SHOWS AT CARNEGIE HALL ANYMORE; it's not like they need press from the likes of me, & the ~aesthetic~ function of inclusion's already safely in the archive (thank u again, polly!!! :D).
all of this is (genuinely!!!) no offense to ppl who work or perform or get paid there, cuz like, working class solidarity, f'real... but if you're considering any kind of Actual Affiliation with that institution, to join the project of trying to redeem or cleanse or distance it from the kind of insidious ideological fuckery that continues to poison people against identifying with workers & –– half-tempted to stretch the poison metaphor to be about ~drinking the kool-aid~ of this goofy noblesse oblige-ass fetishization of the supposedly-altruistic rich, tho beyond it then being a weird multi-directional-poisoning it was also technically "flavor aid," since they didn't use the fancy stuff when pressure-deathing those poor people at jonestown –– POINT IS, i hope i can fortify u against such a call w/ the gr8 words of our buddy eugene debs:
"Will the workingmen of this country accept any gift from the hands of Andrew Carnegie, red with the blood of their slain comrades?
They may have to work for Carnegie, but they are not compelled to recognize as a gift the pennies he throws them in return for the dollars he stole from them...
Let honest workingmen everywhere protest against the acceptance of a gift which condones crime in the name of philanthropy. Let them put themselves upon record in terms that appeal to the honor of their class and the respect of all mankind.
We want libraries [& EVENT SPACES!] and we will have them in glorious abundance when capitalism is abolished and the workingmen are no longer robbed by the philanthropic pirates of the Carnegie class."
DAMN RIGHT
WOOOOOO DEBS HAS U READY TO TORCH SOME BUILDINGS I BET!!!! ME TOO
abolish capitalism, let the carnegies burn,
& philanthropic pirates can FUCK RIGHT OFF